|
|
|
I'm Scared
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 8/5/2006 9:03:22 PM
Posts: 11,
Visits: 13
|
|
| This works better when you hear it than when you read it, but - What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A-flat minor.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just give me sanctuary from the law, and I'll be all right.
Long live the Witch!
|
|
|
|
|
Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 7/17/2008 7:15:37 PM
Posts: 855,
Visits: 1,325
|
|
Colin Powell rushes into the Oval Office where George W. Bush is working and cries, "Mr. President! Mr. President! Eight Afghani terrorists just attacked our embassy in Kabul!" Bush replies, "Aw, we've got 15,000 troops in Afghanistan, we can handle them!" A few minutes later, Powell rushes in again and exclaims, "Mr. president, Mr President, eighty Iraqi terrorists just attacked our embassy in Baghdad!" Bush says, "We've got 25,000 troops in Iraq, we can handle 'em!" A few minutes later, Powell rushes back in and announces, "Mr. President, Mr. President, eight Brazilian terrorists just attacked our embassy in Rio de Janeiro!" and Bush exclaims, "Eight Brazilian?! I can't count that high!"
___________________________________________________________________
It's not the greatest idea to look for a jar while you're driving. The wind messes up your hair too much.
|
|
|
|
|
Supreme Being
Group: LFM Reviewer
Last Login: Today @ 1:54:28 PM
Posts: 6,020,
Visits: 12,481
|
|
Cheater!!
As long as I got Rock n Roll I'm forever young
|
|
|
|
|
Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 7/17/2008 7:15:37 PM
Posts: 855,
Visits: 1,325
|
|
Three band members: a guitarist, a bassist, and a drummer, find an enchanted mirror. A ghostly face appears in the mirror and says, "I will grant each of you one wish on a certain condition. You must each make a statement. If your statement is true, I will grant you any wish you want. If your statement is false, you will disappear into the mirror and come live with me."
The guitarist walks up to the mirror and says, "I think that Jimmy Page is the greatest guitarist alive," and POOF! a beautiful new Les Paul appears in his hands.
The bassist approaches the mirror and says, "I think that Steve Harris is the best bassist alive," and POOF! Two beautiful redhead women stand on either side of him.
The drummer walks up to the mirror and says, "I think..." and POOF! he disappears into the mirror.
___________________________________________________________________
It's not the greatest idea to look for a jar while you're driving. The wind messes up your hair too much.
|
|
|
|
|
Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 7/17/2008 7:15:37 PM
Posts: 855,
Visits: 1,325
|
|
1. Contrary to popular belief, Icarus Witch are not successful at sobering up a drunk person, and in many cases they may actually increase the adverse effects of alcohol.
2. Medieval knights put the skin of Icarus Witch on their sword handles to improve the grip.
3. If you drop Icarus Witch from the top of the Empire State Building, they will be falling fast enough to kill before reaching the ground.
4. Icarus Witch can't drink - they absorb water from their surroundings by osmosis.
5. The original nineteenth-century Coca-Cola formula contained Icarus Witch.
6. Grapes explode if you put them inside Icarus Witch!
7. A Icarus Witcometer is used to measure Icarus Witch.
8. The first domain name ever registered was Icarus Witch.com.
9. Icarus Witch have enough fat to produce 32 bars of soap! (I seriously doubt that the slim members of Icarus Witch could produce anywhere near this much soap.)
10. There are more than two hundred different kinds of Icarus Witch.
___________________________________________________________________
It's not the greatest idea to look for a jar while you're driving. The wind messes up your hair too much.
|
|
|
|
|
I Like Being Scared
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 2/9/2008 2:02:18 PM
Posts: 55,
Visits: 266
|
|
Metalhead87 (6/14/2006)
Hahahaha, Mary with the cherry. Good one Voodoo. If church was like that I might actually go, IF church WAS like that. POWER METAL:
the protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escape from the dragon, saves the princess and make love in an enchanted forest
TRASH METAL:
the protagonist arrives, fight the dragon, saves the princess and fuck her
HEAVY METAL:
the protagonist arrives in a harley davidson bike, kills the dragon, drinks some beers and fuck the princess
FOLK METAL:
the protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordeons, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon fell asleep (by all the dancing)....then he leaves....without the princess
VIKING METAL:
the protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his migthy axe, cook and eat it, rape the princess to death, steal the castle and burn all the place before leave
DEATH METAL:
the protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kill her, then leaves
BLACK METAL:
the protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impale it in the front of the castle.....then sodomize the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her.....then he impale the unvirgen princess
GORE METAL:
the protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spread his guts in the front of the castle, fucks the princess and kill her....then he fucks the dead body, slash her belly and eat her guts.....then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burn the corpse and fuck it for the last time
DOOM METAL:
the protagonist arrives, see the size of the dragon and thinks that he never could beat him, then he gets depressed and commit suicide....the dragon eat his body and the princess as well...the end of the sad story
PROGRESIVE METAL:
the protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes....the dragon kills himself out of boredom.....the protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the technics and tunes learned in the last year of the conservatory...the princess escape looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist
GLAM METAL:
the protagonist arrives, the dragon laugh of the guy's appearance and let him enter.....he then steal the princess make-up and try to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color
GRIND METAL:
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 mintues and then leaves...
Yeah I know that, it's very popular in Germany, too. 
As long as people drink and fuck there will always be ROCK 'N' ROLL (D.Coverdale)
|
|
|
|
|
Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 7/17/2008 7:15:37 PM
Posts: 855,
Visits: 1,325
|
|
What do you call someone who hangs around with a bunch of musicians?
A bass player.(I love jokes like these. They're so flexible. Hell, I first heard this one told as a drummer joke.)
___________________________________________________________________
It's not the greatest idea to look for a jar while you're driving. The wind messes up your hair too much.
|
|
|
|
|
Metal God
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 12/9/2007 4:57:10 AM
Posts: 451,
Visits: 1,057
|
|
You sir, will burn in Hell for that one. 
And I think that needs to stay a drummer | | | |