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Supreme Being
Group: LFM Metal DB
Last Login: 12/5/2008 7:44:25 AM
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The Blonde Joke to End All Blonde Jokes A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then . . ," he sighed . . ". . . let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
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Supreme Being
Group: LFM Reviewer
Last Login: Yesterday @ 8:34:14 PM
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| That's an oldie but goodie. Blonde jokes are fun! My contribution, although it is not a blonde joke. I don't understand. After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses, I had to give up drinking beer. I was not a big drinker maybe a 12 pack on weekends. Anyway, I gave it up but I noticed the other day she came home from grocery shopping and when I looked at the receipt and saw $45 in makeup. I said, "Wait a minute I've given up beer and you haven't given up anything!" She said, "I buy that makeup for you, so I can look pretty for you." I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for!" I don't think she'll be back.
As long as I got Rock n Roll I'm forever young
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Supreme Being
Group: LFM Metal DB
Last Login: Yesterday @ 11:53:28 AM
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You might be a reneck if...
You re-use dental floss to save money.
You've ever drunk mouthwash just because you're too lazy to walk down to the liquor store.
Your homecoming basketball game was rained out.
Your baseball bat "ain't never been used on a ball, but it's sure hit plenty of other things."
You've ever go huntin' inside your home.Ambulance is a mule driven buckboard with a spinning lantern.
Nurses wear flour sack uniforms and look like burned out cloggers.
Dogs hang around O. R. for scraps.
Maternity Room is a do-it-yourself with fresh straw, a jack knife and a string.
Anesthesiologist in bib overalls, feeds you a clear liquid out of a mason jar.
Your Gynecologist is Ernest.
Your Proctologist, who watched Deliverance 200 times, asks you if can squeal like a pig.
The Interns are led by Ernest T. Bass.
Surgical instruments include a stick of dynamite and a chain saw. I can't tell this joke too well but here it goes. 3 guys are on death row, one of them is a redneck. They have 3 choices on how to die as their last act of freedom. One choice is to be gassed, the other is electric chair and the other is lethal injection with STDs. They will be released after the injection but will live a life of pain. The first guy chooses to be gassed, the second guy chooses the chair and the redneck chooses the STDs. So they are injecting him and he's laughing and taunting them. They ask him why, he says "I'm wearing a condom retard".
- What you used to love now, you're gonna adore. With Charmin Ultra, less is more. Cha Cha Cha, Charmin.
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- Wipe ya ass, wash ya self.
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Supreme Being
Group: LFM Metal DB
Last Login: 2 days ago @ 7:54:37 AM
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lol that was funny. i cant think of any blond jokes so ya.....still funny
go to hell
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Supreme Being
Group: LFM Metal DB
Last Login: Yesterday @ 11:53:28 AM
Posts: 3,798,
Visits: 9,049
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A dirty old grandmother, mother, and daughter, all hookers, are talking when the daughter says, "you know I get really mad when guys only give me $50 for a blow***." The mother says "$50? Back in the 1950?s we were happy to get $20" And the grandmother says "Twenty dollars? Ha! back in the 1930?s we where just happy to have something warm in our stomaches."  Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow? She can't touch it till she's fourteen. You might be a redneck if you let your 12 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of HER kids!
- What you used to love now, you're gonna adore. With Charmin Ultra, less is more. Cha Cha Cha, Charmin.
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- Wipe ya ass, wash ya self.
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Supreme Being
Group: LFM Metal DB
Last Login: 2 days ago @ 7:54:37 AM
Posts: 1,638,
Visits: 4,934
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holy fucking shit that was funny.....lmfao. silly rednecks
go to hell
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LivingForMetal.com
Group: Administrators
Last Login: 11/30/2008 11:43:57 AM
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Metalhead87 (3/2/2006)
You might be a redneck if you let your 12 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of HER kids!Classic!!! LOL
"Belief solely based upon faith is inherently rooted in the fear of negative consequence" - Bare
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